Thursday, December 9, 2010

Pour Your ♥ Out


Shell over at Things I Cant Say started this great party that lets you do exactly what its called, Pour Your Heart Out. She challenges you to talk about anything you need to get off your chest.
I cant say how perfect timing it is to find this.
 I am normally a very positive, happy go lucky type of gal, but theres more to me, I go deep way deep. I worry, I cry, I get depressed I get stressed, I AM NORMAL.

My dad, I love him. I love how caring and thoughtful he is. How much he loves my son and my son just adores his Papa. He's a papa's boy for sure.
My dad is also an alcoholic.
It is a horrible disease.
I pray for any person or family that is affected by it.

My dad is usually the primary care giver for my 21 month old son.
He also lives with us.
When he is with us, he's great. He doesnt drink and is such a huge help! I dont know what I would ever do without him.
He fell off the wagon again.
Its so dissapointing and hurtful and stressful.
We've been in a flurry, fast and furiouslly trying to find a replacement sitter for my son.
Worrying about how were going to pay for childcare.
Venting and crying and trying to get over this hurdle... AGAIN!
But other than all that, my heart aches.
When is enough, enough?
What besides completely control his life can I do to help him?
(we dont have treatment centers here)
Everynight before my son goes to bed he gives my dad kisses and says nite
the other night we walked past the room my dad used to stay in and my son calls out, 'papa, papa nite papa'
I cried, my heart hurt.
It still hurts.

When does it end?
Thanks for just letting me pour my heart out.

I invite you to also pour your heart out on whats on your mind right now and take a look at what others are pouring their hearts out about. Remember to be kind, everyone is going through their own struggles.

5 comments:

Yvette said...

You just made me cry. I'll be praying for your dad and you guys in this difficult time.

Shell said...

My father is an addict, too. It's so hard to deal with. I hope that you can find another sitter.

ღღღ-Mumsy said...

It's a terrible disease for sure, because I have seen the devastating things that addiction can do to one's life and to others.

I wish you courage, love, patience, and

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope your father gets the help he needs and that you guys can get things worked out with the sitter situation.

poindextr said...

I hope that you can find an al-anon meeting group. This can be enormously helpful in gaining perspective when living with an addict or alcoholic in your life. May God bless.

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